09 Oct A little bit of the “why”…
A little bit of the “why”…
Hi everyone! I thought it would be helpful to start to “blog” once a month. I use quotes around blog because this is not going to be anything fancy but just a way for me to share & get more Building Blocks tips & tricks out there. For those who know me and/or have worked with me, know how transparent I am. I think this is helpful. I have been there. And even though it feels vulnerable to say, I really think it is helpful to know, I have really hard days as a parent to. It is one thing to set up other families to be successful, it is another thing to practice what I preach. Some days are easier than others!
For instance… I have second guessed myself at 3am. I have cried over my schedules not being perfect or one of my kids having a bad nap. I catastrophize these situations at times (catastrophizing means to make a situation much bigger than it really is, opposite of rational thinking, but as a parent? it is so hard to be rational!). I take one bad nap and turn it into my kid doesn’t sleep well anymore. I have beat myself up on days when I think I am a horrible parent for turning on that extra TV show or for yelling when I should have taken the break. I take it personally when my three year old throws a tantrum or better yet, throws her toy directly at my face. I am the definition of a perfectionist, and parenting and perfectionism do not go hand in hand.
I know better. I know that not every day with kids will feel great. That we will sometimes have more “hard” days than “easy” days. That one bad nap does not mean a bad sleeper. That one tantrum (or toy hitting my face) does not directly relate to me all of the time. I know these things. I tell all my clients this… daily. Yet, I still have trouble telling myself these things. I get it. I really do. Parenting is rewarding and brutal— all at the same time.
Parenting is hard. I had someone recently ask me what my secret is, what is the secret to get kids to sleep? I thought about this and I answered honestly, I do not have a secret. Parenting is simple, not easy. We tend to overcomplicate everything. Myself included. My secret is helping families to see the simple and effective solutions, be consistent and flexible to create an imperfect but successful environment. This is no secret. But it can be challenging…
My favorite part of my job is the connections I get to make with families. It is incredibly rewarding to get invited into someone’s life and be a part of their team for a while. Watching families learn, grow and become successful is really the main reason why I do what I do. I actually leave consultations smiling. This is because I get to be invited into people’s lives, learn about how they operate and together come up with a plan to help everyone feel rested, happy and adjusted. I do not take for granted how special this is. It is very vulnerable to have anyone come into your home and help. I feel lucky for each consult I do.
Help. What a simple word with so much meaning behind it. I do what I do because of the people I help. I get such joy out of sharing my passion with others and watching them put into practice the tools and techniques. I enjoy helping. I enjoy this because I learn something new with each and every family. People are not robots, so I am constantly learning and evolving. One size does not fit all. And that part is fun! Being a clinician means you must be flexible to learn and grow. If you stay the same way, or only have one way to approach things, you grow stale and fast. I love my job. It is a challenge some days and can be tiring but it is so rewarding. So thank you to all of the families who have allowed me to join them, help them, and share in their success. I am excited to start this blog, to let you in a little more into my own world, and share some tips to help!
In closing, here are my top three MUST do tips for Parenting 101:
- Be Consistent. (Do not let the one thing you are consistent about be inconsistency).
- Be a Broken Record. (Do not assume that they get it, another reminder never hurt anyone)
- Practice Self Care. (If you are not good, they are not good. Take care of yourself, so you can take care of them!)